Emotional Regulation Toolkit

You’re STILL throwing temper tantrums? Aren’t you tired? 

Unregulated emotions and impulsive reactions lead to declining physical health, anxiety, and depression. And…:: lean in closely:: you look silly yelling and stomping around as a grown adult. I’m tired for you.

What you need is an emotional regulation toolkit. Let’s start with the basics—the nuts and bolts. 

1.          Become Self-Aware:

These strategies act as a temperature check; a way to check-in with oneself.  Don’t wait for the blow up! Make one (or all) of these a daily habit on “good” and “bad” days.

·       Journaling

·       Mindfulness/Meditation practice

·       Gratitude practice

2.          Learn to De-escalate:

Pause!  Emotions run high and take some intentionality to bring the level down to a place of functional rationale.

·       Time out. Take one by stating “I need a break” and come back to the topic later OR leave the triggering space all together.

·       Breathing apps. The Breathing App on IOS is free

·       Grounding technique: 5-4-3-2-1. Identify 5 things you can see. 4 you can touch. 3 you can hear. 2 you can smell. 1 you can taste.

3.          Get in your own head:

Yep. Talk to yourself pragmatically.

·       Re-frame. Try viewing the situation from a different, more positive perspective.

·       Use mantras/affirmations to speak positively about yourself.

If you’re one of those that was waiting for this article to end to offer rebuttal, I’ve heard them all before. 

“Sometimes we need those blow-up moments! Getting things off my chest helps me.” 

“They needed to be told off! I HAD to check them!”

 “It’s my job! I’m the boss. I’m supposed to flex my muscle.”

Straight-faced stare back to the argumentative

Emotional regulation doesn’t dismiss or neglect the validity of your feelings.  Tension will exist and yet conflict needs resolution. Regulating allows for empathy to better hear, understand and value one another.

Check your friend circle. Do you have one?

Check your coworkers’ productivity and motivation levels. Is their work suffering?

Check your blood pressure, heart rate, weight, sleep patterns.  Are YOU suffering?

Emotional regulation is not only cool; it’s life changing.  Your future self will thank you for it.