LIVING SINGLE: THE IMPORTANCE OF BLACK WOMEN FRIENDSHIPS

Every Thursday night, my sister and I huddled in front of the TV to laugh, banter, and dream with Khadijah, Max, Regine and Synclaire.  We faithfully watched four distinctly different black women navigate life and, in their journey, we saw pieces of our own.

At times, I channeled Khadijah’s grounded ambition or embraced Max’s boldness when challenging the status quo. Other times, I whimsically let joy lead, like Synclaire, while also believing I deserved more, just like Regine.  It was impossible to watch and not see ourselves in them. We were them, and they were us; individually and collectively.

They portrayed how friendship could stretch to fit our differences.  How it could survive missed calls, tough conversations, career challenges and relationship struggle.  We saw how they rode for each other through heartbreaks and personal breakthroughs. They showed us that community didn’t have to be perfect to be powerful.

Living Single wasn’t just entertainment.  It was a masterclass in what it means to show up as your whole self and still be held, challenged, and chosen.

Today, more than ever, we need that kind of connection.

The kind that makes room for chaos and care. 

The kind that is not perfectly curated because…life.

The kind that we choose over and over again.

In a world that often pushes Black women to isolate, compete and bear our struggles alone, choosing community is an act of power.  In community, we find our voices, share our experiences and lift each other up creating bonds that act as a shield against the pressures of a world that would rather see us break apart.  Living Single reminds us that Black women are stronger together.

The Excuses We Make

“I don’t have time.  I’m just too busy”

“I can’t trust anyone. I’ve been burned before.”

“Checking in feels like too much work.”

Deep down, we know it’s more than just logistics.  Leaning into community feels risky.  Opening up feels like an invitation to be hurt or misunderstood and the emotional labor of carrying others’ weight is heavy.  Vulnerability feels like a luxury we just can’t afford.  

Friendships don’t work unless we do. It’s not that we don’t have time; We haven’t yet made space to prioritize each other. It’s not that we can’t find friends; we haven’t let ourselves be seen by people who offer the emotional maturity, love and laughter that we need. It’s not that emotional safety doesn’t exist; it comes with vulnerability.

In making excuses, we deny ourselves the kind of deep, authentic connection that Living Single taught us to value. They taught us so much, but if there’s one takeaway from their five seasons, it’s this:

We were never meant to live single: in spirit, in struggle or in joy.

So, what can we do?  We can start by showing up. We can choose to be vulnerable, to trust, and to give the same love and support we hope to receive. The beauty of community lies in its ability to evolve, to withstand challenges, and to remind us that we’re never meant to face life alone.